My Plan for Keeping Gas Prices Down
Friday, April 27, 2007
There seems to be two schools of thought going around for what gas prices will be like this summer in the US. One says that we've reached a peak and will get relief this summer as production catches up. The other says you ain't seen nothing yet and we'll see > $4.00/gallon. I really have no interest in the technical arguments, because I have a solution that overrides silly little things like the free market.
Every reader of this blog should send me $10. This is an investment in your future. You won't be getting any money back from me, but it will be well worth it. I'll take that money (and toss in my own $10, of course) and invest it in gasoline futures betting that the price will rise. If historical evidence is any indicator, the price of gasoline will drop like a rock. We'll see 50 cent/gallon gas again! This method works very well with stocks I pick, so I don't see why I shouldn't be able to also control the price of gas.
I'm also offering the service that I'll invest long or short (your choice) on any stock you pick if you send me $500 to invest, plus a $100 processing fee. No, I won't give you any of the $500 back, but for $600 you can know which way your stock is going, and that knowledge is really worth something. Unfortunately, my service doesn't seem to work on mutual funds because that seems to be the only way I can make money. But for individual stocks, it's killer.
Of course, if the DemCong weenies really believe that the Evil Bush controls the price of gas and raises it every summer to line the coffers of his political friends and then lowers it again in the fall for elections, they could be making millions just betting on gasoline futures. Heck, it makes Hillary's beef futures acumen look rather facile. Maybe she could finance her health care plan with her futures trading. Wouldn't it be cool to see a DemCong offer a program that says "Here's what I'm going to do and I'm going to pay for it!" rather that "and you're going to pay for it." Heck, if she'd just call me and tell me which side she's bettering, I could bet the other way and we'd have this deficit thing licked.
(Note to our DemCong readers: That approach won't really work, even though it fits in perfectly with your understanding of economics. It's satire.)
Every reader of this blog should send me $10. This is an investment in your future. You won't be getting any money back from me, but it will be well worth it. I'll take that money (and toss in my own $10, of course) and invest it in gasoline futures betting that the price will rise. If historical evidence is any indicator, the price of gasoline will drop like a rock. We'll see 50 cent/gallon gas again! This method works very well with stocks I pick, so I don't see why I shouldn't be able to also control the price of gas.
I'm also offering the service that I'll invest long or short (your choice) on any stock you pick if you send me $500 to invest, plus a $100 processing fee. No, I won't give you any of the $500 back, but for $600 you can know which way your stock is going, and that knowledge is really worth something. Unfortunately, my service doesn't seem to work on mutual funds because that seems to be the only way I can make money. But for individual stocks, it's killer.
Of course, if the DemCong weenies really believe that the Evil Bush controls the price of gas and raises it every summer to line the coffers of his political friends and then lowers it again in the fall for elections, they could be making millions just betting on gasoline futures. Heck, it makes Hillary's beef futures acumen look rather facile. Maybe she could finance her health care plan with her futures trading. Wouldn't it be cool to see a DemCong offer a program that says "Here's what I'm going to do and I'm going to pay for it!" rather that "and you're going to pay for it." Heck, if she'd just call me and tell me which side she's bettering, I could bet the other way and we'd have this deficit thing licked.
(Note to our DemCong readers: That approach won't really work, even though it fits in perfectly with your understanding of economics. It's satire.)
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