Find The Boots

Rantings from a few corporate types about life, technology, travel, guns, politics, and everything good in the world.

Nuts for Rosie

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ok, this was too funny - check the whole blog too.

It's an intercom conversation from a long military flight:

“If you could throw anyone out of the back of the Herk, who would you toss?”

From the line comes the following exchange, all different people, so I couldn’t even tell you who they were.

“The first person I’d toss is Rosie, that fat pig”

“Screw that, Hillary would have to be first, then maybe tie a line to Rosie and take her second”

“I have to ask, can we do a group dump or would we have to come down and land to pick up each person? I only ask because we might exceed the monthly allotted flight time for the Herk and be forced to ask Congress for more money.”

“That’s a good question, how about a group dump and we set up a pay-for-view deal to offset the cost and try to recoup some of the money the Gov’t spends to let us fly?”

“Oh that would be rocking, put a little helmet cam showing their face as we toss them out the back and watch them put little holes in the desert.”

“How about starting on the West coast and working our way to DC? That way we can take all those know it all Hollywood idiots and give them a free ride.”

“Yeah, I’m up for that. Send that chick, oh what’s her name? Married to that chicken shit…Tim Robbins, … oh it’s Susan Sarandon, I’d toss them first.”

“No way, Sean Penn would be on my list first. He’s a traitor!”

“God, you guys are forgetting Jane Fonda. I know you aren’t Fonda of Hanoi Jane.”

“Hey boss, I don’t think we’d have enough room back here for all the Asswipes in Hollywood.”

“I know, but we could make a damn fine start.”

“Well I still say that we toss Rosie first, but we should strap her in a car and then put a camera mounted on the dash so you can watch her ride all the way down. I know the average American would pay big money for that…I mean that’s real entertainment if you ask me.”

“Quality”

“Must see TV”

“I’d cancel my check to green peace for that.”

“I’d give my left nut”

“A nut for Rosie? That would be an over kill. I’d just give up smoking.”

“I wouldn’t even give up my worst enemy’s nut for that pig.”

“Well, can I tie a line from her to your nut? That is if you were willing to give up one.”

“You guys are sick….”

The amazing thing is that such dumb people could hold such clear political and social opinions. And even fly a plane. Nut to you magic-hat Kerry.

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Find The Boots

An executive goes on a business trip. When he arrives, it's raining cats and dogs. To avoid ruining his shoes, he purchases a pair of galoshes for $15, which he expenses under "Misc." on his expense report. A week later, the accounting department rejects his expense report, with a post-it note that says that the company does not reimburse for items of clothing. The next trip, the executive turns in an expense report without the galoshes, but with a post-it note that says "FIND THE BOOTS!".