Find The Boots

Rantings from a few corporate types about life, technology, travel, guns, politics, and everything good in the world.

Is Your CFO a Moron?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Clearly this "consultant" thinks so, witness his example of why corpeople should care about boondoggles:

ATTORNEY: Mr. Wilson. You were the company's chief financial officer. Is that right?

YOU: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And you have the highest standards of integrity?

YOU: That's right. (What else are you going to say?)

ATTORNEY: But yet, it's okay with you if the company's executives commit fraud and embezzle, isn't it?

YOU: No. Of course not.

ATTORNEY: Isn't this your signature on the company tax return?

YOU: Yes.

ATTORNEY: Then how do you explain this $5,000 for the CEO's personal trip to Las Vegas the past five years?

YOU: But it's only a small amount. We're a $250 million company.

ATTORNEY: So your company saved $2,500 each year in taxes. Now Mr. Wilson, who had to make up that shortfall? (Answer: the members of the jury.)

YOU: (Dumbstruck at this point and fidgeting for an answer. [No answer will get you out of trouble with the jury.])

ATTORNEY: Clearly, it's okay with you if the CEO steals a little bit. So tell me, Mr. Wilson, how much does the theft have to be before it's not okay with you?

Can you imagine a guy smart enough to make CFO who is dumb enough to fall for that? How about "the CEO assured me that this trip was an off-site retreat that happened to be family friendly." Or even: how did that get on the tax return?

Sheesh.

I did like his description of hiring ex-cons to talk about stealing from companies. You gotta know they're fun to travel through seccurity with!

Bottom line: wish all our CFO's were so gullible but no such joy. We all know that expense account rules are getting tighter (see previous post about fricking travel cards!) not looser.

Better boots is what we need.

0 Comments:

Find The Boots

An executive goes on a business trip. When he arrives, it's raining cats and dogs. To avoid ruining his shoes, he purchases a pair of galoshes for $15, which he expenses under "Misc." on his expense report. A week later, the accounting department rejects his expense report, with a post-it note that says that the company does not reimburse for items of clothing. The next trip, the executive turns in an expense report without the galoshes, but with a post-it note that says "FIND THE BOOTS!".