Find The Boots

Rantings from a few corporate types about life, technology, travel, guns, politics, and everything good in the world.

The Truth!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Funny paradoy of a Few Good Men sent in:

SALES: "You want answers?"
ACCOUNTING: "I think I'm entitled."
SALES: "You want answers?"
ACCOUNTING: "I want the truth!!"
SALES: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!, Son, we live in a world that requires revenue... who's going to find it? You?...in Accounting?? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at Sales & Marketing and your curse at our incentives. You have that luxury...You have the luxury of not knowing what we know, that while tragic, current expenses are driving new sales. And that our efforts and tactics, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE!

You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings... you want us on that sale; you NEED us on that sale! We use words like comps..., upgrades..., discounts...; we use these words as the backbone of the time spent building a relationship with a customer and negotiating something... you use them as a punch line!

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of income I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way... Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone, solicit some customers and CLOSE A DEAL! Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!!"

ACCOUNTING: "Did you expense the lap dances?"
SALES: "I did my job..."
ACCOUNTING: "DID YOU EXPENSE THE LAP DANCES????"
SALES: (shouting) "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!"

0 Comments:

Find The Boots

An executive goes on a business trip. When he arrives, it's raining cats and dogs. To avoid ruining his shoes, he purchases a pair of galoshes for $15, which he expenses under "Misc." on his expense report. A week later, the accounting department rejects his expense report, with a post-it note that says that the company does not reimburse for items of clothing. The next trip, the executive turns in an expense report without the galoshes, but with a post-it note that says "FIND THE BOOTS!".