Find The Boots

Rantings from a few corporate types about life, technology, travel, guns, politics, and everything good in the world.

Seriously Strange People Who Fly

Sunday, October 08, 2006

From regular reader TF comes these links from FlyerTalk. We've pulled the juicy bits, but go read them all. After our pithy comments, please.

Start it off Herbert!

My wife was arrested for standing against a wall

Well, actually, she was yelling at the TSA because the mom had

been a widow for 25 years. As far as we know, she has never had any intimate contact with anyone (except for a TSA screener) in that amount of time. Mom is very religious and objects to being touched by homosexuals. So, she always relates to the screener that if the screener is a homosexual, that she would prefer that another screener be brought over.

Right on. Anyway, apparnetly this is genetically inherited because in an earlier post we find that he's:

Flying with my daughter and no "government issued" ID

The scare quotes around government are usually a good sign that someone is living off the grid in Montana, waiting for TEOTWAWKI. (Google it, but don't be drinking while you read the results). My favorite money quotes are:

I do not possess "government issued" ID. First, because I see no reason to make application for permission to exist, second, because this is the land of my birth, and third, because most states "require" a Social Security Account Number (SSAN) to make application, I never made application for one.
So, the ID that I have, I make myself. It has my picture, name, mailing address (PO Box), height, weight (still fluctuating) and signature on the front, and is in the form of an affidavit on the back. I do not put a date of birth on it, as first, it's none of anyone's business, and second, because I cannot swear to the exact date from personal knowledge (Do you remember the day you were born and did you have an understanding of the calendaring system at that age? For that matter, do you even know that the people that you believe to be your parents actually are your parents?)

All I can say is, can we get a baloon on this guys hat so I can choose a different screening area?

0 Comments:

Find The Boots

An executive goes on a business trip. When he arrives, it's raining cats and dogs. To avoid ruining his shoes, he purchases a pair of galoshes for $15, which he expenses under "Misc." on his expense report. A week later, the accounting department rejects his expense report, with a post-it note that says that the company does not reimburse for items of clothing. The next trip, the executive turns in an expense report without the galoshes, but with a post-it note that says "FIND THE BOOTS!".