Find The Boots

We all know people whose passionate beliefs stand in direct opposition to their other passionate beliefs. Here's a handy list of 30 contradictory concepts.

2 The same people most likely to vote Green are also most likely to live in Australia's least natural environments – our crowded, paved, stupid-filled inner-city suburbs.

3 The same people who claim to crave greater media diversity are often the very same people who resist greater diversity of views within the ABC.

4 The same people again are the least likely to be pay-TV subscribers, despite the access pay-TV gives to the BBC, CNN, Fox News, RAI and other diverse media sources.

5 In fact the same people who complain most about pay-TV happily support the only form of pay-TV you've got to pay for even if you don't watch it – the ABC.

6 The same people who've spent more time than most of us flying around the earth are proportionately more likely to insist fossil fuel consumption is a very grave problem.

7 The same people who fret over the influence of Christianity in the Liberal Party never say a word about the God-bothering of Kevin Rudd and Peter Garrett.

8 The same people who hated Paul Keating's economic rationalism while he was in power now recall his time in government as a golden era.

9 The same people who are the loudest in support of drug-free "natural" childbirth are remarkably silent on the matter of drug-free "natural" dentistry.

10 The same people who demand price controls on petrol would scream like a goth in the sun if the sale of their own goods and properties were subject to price controls.

11 The same people who believe Americans have no sense of humour laugh their heads off at The Simpsons.

12 The same people who want to restrict cigarette smoking are invariably inclined towards decriminalising marijuana.

13 The same people who ridicule John Howard for once being an ordinary suburban lawyer become terribly affronted if you call them snobs.

14 The same people who believe the Howard/Bush/Blair governments encourage a climate of fear by exaggerating the threat of terrorism never complain about the climate of fear fostered by Australian of the Year Tim Flannery, who consistently exaggerates the threat of global warming.

15 The same people who were offended by George W. Bush meddling in Australian politics are absolutely fine with Al Gore meddling in Australian politics.

16 The same people who thought anti-terror fridge magnets were a pointless tokenistic gesture nevertheless supported Earth Hour, during which they saved the planet by turning off their lights for 60 whole minutes.

17 The same people who urged that we become a republic in order to stand on our own two feet and make decisions for ourselves now demand we heed the economy-wrecking directives of Britain's Sir Nicholas Stern.

18 The same people who protested against UN sanctions in Iraq later claimed Iraq shouldn't have been invaded because the sanctions were working.

19 The same people who fear nuclear power in Australia don't give nuclear power a moment's thought when they holiday in nuclear-powered France.

20 The same people who publish images of crucifixes in urine don't dare print even a single cartoon making fun of Mohammed.

21 The same people who were ultra-nationalistic during the republican debate these days decry the ugly nationalism of displaying the Australian flag on Australia Day.

22 The same people who fought for women's rights in the '60s and '70s are oddly silent today on the issue of women's rights forf emale Muslims.

23 The same people who denounce creeping US influence in Australian culture often make a great deal of money appearing in US films and speaking in American accents – particularly a person named Toni Collette.

24 The same people who demand every last detail on the location of any planned Australian nuclear power plants decline to identify any of the industries they would prefer to see removed in order to reduce Australia's alleged greenhouse pollutants.

25 The same people who wanted a worker's paradise under Gough Whitlam now bemoan the McMansions, boats, 4WDs and plasma TVs owned by workers under Howard.

26 The same people who complain most about globalisation seem unusually alert to views expressed on international anti-globalisation websites.

27 The same people who demand reductions in energy use in order to solve global warming will turn up in huge energy-munching numbers at June's energy-guzzling Live Earth concert – which aims to solve global warming.

28 The same people who condemn John Howard's populist pandering on talk radio don't have much to say about Kevin Rudd turning up all the time on Sunrise.

29 The same people who rejected privatisation of the Snowy Mountains Hydro Scheme because of its status as a national icon would chain themselves to trees if another such scheme was proposed.

30 The same newspaper columnist – me – who is such a psycho on law-and-order issues has just one point left on his licence due to repeated speeding offences.